farmer's blow

Being new to the area, I've been exploring new roads as I train, and I found one today. In Iowa City, you can go from an urban area to a rural area really fast. Rural, at least in this area, means a lot of green growing things, which can sometimes cause allergy symptoms. My allergies were bothering me today.

When you're riding down the road and your nose is running you have several choices. I know what you're thinking. "But Mark, you just wipe your nose on your sleeve like I do." Sure, but eventually you're going to want to eat indoors and, on occasion, you might experience an adverse reaction from a waitress or a cashier when she sees your choice in wardrobe accessories: mucus, tiny bugs on your arms and/or face, and a fine patina of sweat.

Alternately, you can stop, pull out a tissue, and blow your nose. Repeating this every thirty seconds will cause a three-hour cruise to turn into a three-day stopfest. Unfortunately, you just won't make much progress. Second, you could reach into your handlebar bag and blow your nose while you're riding, but that's not one of the safest things to do while traveling on two wheels. Third, you can ignore it, letting the mucus continue its short, inevitable slide to the only place where it CAN go: your mouth. That's even less appealing than the stopfest. Finally, there's the farmer's blow.

I learned what a farmer's blow is in high school, ironically from one of my oldest, best friends named Bart Farmer. Of course, there was no WAY I was going to ask what a "farmer's blow" is, especially in high school. Asking what a "farmer's blow" is OBVIOUSLY a set up question in which you're the punch line. During the conversation I must've looked puzzled, because he offered an explanation. When you're outside and need to blow your nose but you don't have any tissue, you push on the side of your right nostril, lean over and blow out the left. Then you press on the side of your left nostril and blow the contents out of the right side.

Well, I'm not particularly proud to admit that's what I do, but when you consider the alternatives (especially the second), perhaps you can understand.

Anyway, today I was out in the middle of NOwhere when I performed my nasal ablutions. However, unlike any other time in the past when I've done this (if, indeed, there were any other times, which I'm not willing to admit), just as I finished I noticed a guy on a bike.... ten feet behind me. He blew by me, so to speak, and even said "hello," which I thought was very gracious considering he was wearing my mucus.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, if you ever read this... sorry, pal.

FAQ (frequently asked questions)

These are questions I get asked frequently. Most of them are the same questions I got asked last year (and the year before that, and the year before that), so some of this is may be repetitive for those of you who read last year's blog. 

Q: You're going WHERE? 

A: From San Diego, CA, to Jacksonville, FL. 

Q: How far is it? 

A: Acouple of hundred miles. Right? It IS isn't it? 

A: Around 3100 miles. 

Q: On THAT? 

A: Yes. 

Q: Are you camping? 

A: Yes, I have a tent and a sleeping bag, and will be camping. I'll also stay in some motels. On my first trip, in the summer of 1982, I pedaled about 3,000 miles and only stayed in a motel twice. Now that I'm getting older (and will have a paying job upon my return), I tend to cough up the money a bit more frequently, though I frequently regret it when I do. I lie in the bed thinking that I could be sleeping in my tent outside under the stars. 

Q: What if your bike has a flat? 

A: I have a patch kit and can fix it. I carry a small tire pump which will allow me to pump it back up on the side of the road if necessary. I also carry a spare tube and a spare tire, just in case I'm unable to repair either one of them. 

Q: What if your bike breaks down? A: I also carry other tools, and have even changed out a broken spoke. I carry spare spokes in my seat tube inside my bike. A bike is a fairly simple thing, like me, and isn't that difficult to figure it out. 

Q: How heavy is all the stuff you carry? 

A: Last year, I weighed all my gear just before I left. All totaled, it weighed 35.0 pounds. This year I'll probably be carrying a few extra pounds since it's a longer trip. 

Q: How many miles do you average in a day? 

A: Around 60. That may seem like a lot, but consider this... there are 24 hours in a day. Let's say you sleep 9 hours (does anyone?). That leaves 15 hours. An hour each for breakfast (usually lasts 15 minutes), lunch (usually takes 30 minutes, including rest), and dinner... that leaves 12 hours. An hour to set up camp and an hour to break camp, and you're down to 10 hours. Ten hours left to do nothing but pedal. If you ride an hour, take an hour break, ride an hour, etc., that's five hours of riding (NO one would take that long of a break that frequently). If you travel a mere 10 miles an hour, that's FIFTY miles you've ridden. Take away two hours of your five hours of break time and you've gone 70 miles in a day. I'm not a super athlete. It's just a matter of sitting on the bike and pedaling. 

Q: What's the farthest you've ever gone? 

A: On a single trip, the 1982 trip was my longest (just short of 3,000). In a single day, 138 miles on July 4th, 1991. I had a nice tailwind that day, so it wasn't all me. The longest I've traveled without a tailwind (and, in fact, I had a headwind for the last 30 miles) is 117. 

Q: What was your shortest day? 

A: (no one ever really asks this, but I thought if I tell you my longest I could also tell you my shortest) 8 miles. In 1982, while pedaling through northern Kentucky, I got a really late start (a different story), around 2PM. After a mere 8 miles, I passed 4 people sitting out on their wraparound front porch, enjoying the afternoon. They saw me riding by and, after a second's hesitation, began to yell at me, "Hey, Stop!! Come'on up here! We've got beer! We've got pork chops! We've got ice cold lemonade! Come on up!!" I stopped, and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening on their front porch enjoying their hospitality.

 

Q: What if it rains? 

A: I stop riding until it stops. (sense enough to come in out of the rain?) It's pretty unusual for it to rain all day for several days. If there's a 75% chance of rain, that doesn't mean it's going to rain75% of the day, just that there's a 75% chance it'll rain at some point during the day. If it rains in the summer (at least where I ride), it's generally just an afternoon shower. It'll rain for 30-60 minutes, then stop. I take cover until it passes, then start riding again. Once, just for the heck of it, I decided to put on my rain gear and pedal. My day's destination was only about 8 miles away. It was an odd sensation because with each passing yard under my wheel, everything got heavier and heavier as it became saturated with water (this was also on my first trip in 1982). I just bought new pannier bags a couple of weeks ago and am very excited about them - you're supposed to be able to submerge them in water without anything inside getting wet.

 

Q: Aren’t you worried about…. (someone hitting you with their car, someone robbing you, lions/tigers/bears)? 

A: No. In fact, every time I take a bike trip my faith in humanity is renewed. It's amazing how generous and kind people are. Maybe it's because I'm on a bike (what am I going to do? ride off with their TV?), or maybe it's because of my boyish charm (Heather says No), but everywhere I go people open their arms to help me out. I've been sitting outside a convenience store in Mississippi when the bread delivery guy walked by and said, "Hey, you want a loaf of bread?" I just strapped it to my bike and ate it with some peanut butter I bought. I've been in the middle of West Texas when a hailstorm was only minutes away when an old farmer pulled up in his battered pickup truck and said, "There's a hailstorm acomin' - You just go over to that house there, ain't nobody livin' in it, and stay there till it passes over. If anybody says anything to you, you just tell'em 'Usup sentcha.' " I was safe inside the abandoned house when the hail hit. I've asked where a good place to camp is and, repeatedly, people have said, "Right here in our yard!" And later, "Why don't you just come inside and have supper with us? We have plenty." 

Q: What do you eat? 

A: Roadkill, mostly. It's really not that bad if you season it right. 

Q: What do you REALLY eat? 

A: I don't take a stove. (I'm on vacation!) When I arrive in a town, I usually ask the first person I see where the best place to eat is. The locals generally know. 

Q: How do you decide where to go? 

A: It depends on the trip. Sometimes I just buy a map as I enter a state and pick a route at that time. I always travel on the smaller backroads through the rural areas. On other trips (like this one), I purchase maps from Adventure Cycling Association. They have excellent maps that tell you what size the next town is, what services it offers (camping, motels, cafes, libraries, emergency services) as well as addresses and phone numbers for each. They also have historical information about each area. The routes have been selected for their scenic beauty, safe roads/wide shoulders, and historical significance. I've been impressed every time I've used one of their maps.

 

Q: Have you done this before? 

A: Yes. Here is a list of my trips: 

1) 1982 Waco to Houston - My first trip was in 1982, when I rode from Waco, TX, over to New Mexico, then up to Denver, then east across Kansas. I dipped into Oklahoma, just to add another state to the tally, then traveled northeast to St. Louis where I stayed with some friends for 5 days. When I restarted I continued east across the southern tips of Indiana and Illinois, then turned south through Kentucky and Tennessee. I stayed with another friend in northeastern Alabama for 4 days, then turned west and pedaled across Mississippi and Louisiana, ultimately finishing my trip in the Houston suburb where I grew up. 

2) 1988 Burlington to Baltimore - I flew into Burlington, VT, then took a ferry across Lake Champlain. From there I traveled south through upstate New York (the Finger Lakes, Lake Placid, etc.), across Pennsylvania (the Amish county of Lancaster, which includes Intercourse, PA), and finished in a suburb of Baltimore. 

3) 1989 Houston to Tulsa - On this one, I traveled with Rob and Rich when they were 12 and 10, respectively. They were great traveling companions. The most memorable thing about this trip, besides the guy we met who claims he actually saw a UFO, was the heat.... I don't think it ever dipped below 90, even at night. 

4) 1990 Lexington to Glasgow - I flew to the Lexington, KY, airport and assembled my bike, then took a 4-day trip across Kentucky, ending in Glasgow. I stayed overnight with someone I had met on my first trip. 

5) 1991 Portland to Pueblo - Certainly one of my favorite trips, I started in Portland, OR, then pedaled east across Oregon and Idaho to Missoula, Montana, then south through Wyoming and Colorado. My route included part of Yellowstone Park, and I finished in Pueblo. 

6) 1994 Atlanta to Virginia - I started from the airport in Atlanta, Georgia, then pedaled east. I stopped a couple of days in Augusta where my younger sister, Wanda, was living. From there I continued east until I hit the coast then traveled along the coastline, including the Outer Banks and Kitty Hawk, until I crossed into Virginia. 

7) 1999 Steamboat Springs to Orem - This is the only trip I didn't enjoy. I started in Steamboat Springs because it's 1,958 feet higher in elevation than Orem.... downhill, right? Those were the worst few days of riding I've ever experienced. The wind was "unusually strong" that week, according to the weather reporters, and it was blowing from the west. I've become a fair judge of wind speed, and I would say it was blowing from 22 to 25 mph each day. It was fairly calm in the mornings, but by 11:00 it was substantial. I began waking up earlier and earlier each day... not my idea of a vacation, and by the third day of pedaling hard to get nowhere I realized I wasn't having much fun. SO, I took another trip that year.... 

8) 1999 Knox City to Rocky - This was a short, three-day trip, I took with Heather. We started in Knox City, TX, where I was living at the time. On the day of our scheduled departure, I walked outside, checked which way the wind was blowing, then started pedaling with it. Since it was blowing from the south southwest, we traveled north northeast. Three days later, we were in Rocky, Oklahoma. 

9) 2000 Logan to Soda Springs - This was a short trip through the beautiful mountains in Utah and Idaho. 10) 2001 Rocky to Lincoln - I picked up where I left off from my 1999 trip and continued on through Oklahoma, across Kansas, and to Lincoln, Nebraska. I had a tailwind on this trip for most of the way and averaged over 100 miles a day. It really wasn't me, though - it was the wind. I could've put my feet up on the handlebars and leaned back and still made it. Well, almost. 

11) 2004 San Francisco to San Diego - I traveled with my sister, Wanda, on this trip. We used the Adventure Cycling Association maps and stayed mostly on the Pacific Coastal Highway except where it was too dangerous for bikes. It was a gorgeous trip, and Wanda did exceptionally well. 

12) 2007 Seattle, WA, to Shelby, MT - This was an amazing trip, one of my favorites. (It's hard to pick a real favorite trip - they're just different. It would be like picking a favorite child) If you're interested in reading about this trip, click here. It's the first posting of the blog. At the bottom of each page there's a place to click on for newer postings. 

13) I've taken shorter trips here and there over the years, two and three day trips. 

Q: What do you do when you come to the mountains. 

A: Pedal. I don't mind the mountains. You go up, you get to go back down. It's the wind that's demoralizing. 

Q: What all do you take? 

A: This post is getting too long, so there's a list of everything I'm taking on this trip in one of the next postings.

training

Ugh.

It's embarrassing. I've ridden maybe 3-4 times since my last summer's bike trip. Granted, I did climb onto the stationary bike a few times last winter while I watched TV. Sometimes I even pedaled. My excuse is the same as it always is, and it's rock-solid: I'm lazy.

So, dragging my butt onto the saddle again hasn't been easy. There's one huge motivating factor that got me going.... fear.

I took a bike trip once without getting into good enough shape, and it was NOT a pretty sight. After several days of "discomfort," I and my butt and my knees and my muscles all got together and vowed NEVER to do that again.

Sure, your legs/knees/lungs may not be in the best shape, but surprisingly, the main distance-limiting factor is your butt. THE single thing that keeps you from riding forever is how long you can sit on a bike seat. Well, that and a very small amount of common sense.